The child who is handicapped in his means of communication and expression involves the family with his own frustrations. If this is admitted, it may also be affirmed that the steps taken by the individual under the Electronic Ear enable the entire group to recover its health, due to the equilibrium regained by the client. Tensions disappear and bonds become more closely knit between various elements of the family constellation. The home becomes peaceful and, with this, personalities blossom as each person’s desire for dialogue with the others take shape. Each feels himself come alive insofar as he opens his own being in the presence of another.
The family gains even more advantages from the child’s program when family members closely follow it and actively join in. of course, not every form of intervention is a good one. For the parents’ cooperation to be relevant, they must have clear and precise information. In particular, they must be warned that during the first several months of the child’s program, he is going to show unusual reactions which may perhaps be disagreeable to them. If we were to remain silent on this subject, the parents quickly would become distressed, and, once again, their own anxiety would be transmitted to the child. We encourage them to be patient, and, if possible, serene. We also urge them not to become disappointed by focusing on school results alone, as parents of dyslexics often do. The difficulties met at school are only symptoms, the exterior signs of a lack of balance (to be more precise, an absence of harmony) that lies much deeper. It is by working at this deeper level that one will gradually succeed in eliminating spelling faults, reading inadequacies, and obtuseness in grammar and mathematics.
Do parents all agree and cooperate? Unfortunately, no. At least not from the start. There again we have to struggle step by step. Of course, they do not deliberately refuse to understand our work and cooperate with it, but they do develop a number of unconscious resistances.
We become aware of these by analyzing the resistances of the children themselves, which were manifested among some of them by difficult behavior over food: either the client devoured everything put in front of him, or he violently refused to eat anything at all. At first, we thought the hostility behind these aggressive reactions came from the child himself. But by looking at it more closely, we quickly perceived that these reactions were merely a response to a much more secret and underhanded hostility coming from the parents. The whole family was resisting, not just the child.
Even the best-natured of mothers and fathers will find their situation difficult if either of them has an unsuitable attitude to the situation. In this perspective, it is essential to brief teachers as well as to brief families. Unfortunately, it is difficult for us to initiate meetings with teachers in order to explain to them what we are doing; the family has to invite us. When the family understands the necessity of such a meeting, we are very careful not to refuse the invitation for such contacts, besides the fact that they are always fruitful for us by allowing for greater insights into the child’s development. Once we have revealed to the teachers the changes in behavior they may expect, we usually must overcome numerous objections. This is particularly true when they understand that they will temporarily have to treat the child with a certain indulgence. In the case of a left-hander, in particular, the period of adaptation which corresponds to lateralization towards the right is sometimes difficult to live through for both pupil and teacher. In fact, before regaining his balance and making noticeable progress, the child may see his weakness increased and multiplied. For example, he will write more slowly than the others and will have more trouble in understanding how to form his letters correctly, which may hold back the rest of the class. However, this will only be a passing phase. Patience is all that is required.
The reception we get from teachers is nearly always an excellent one. Today, especially, it is very rare for teachers to be unaware of the problems of dyslexia. why the proliferation of dyslexics? The reasons are too numerous and complicated to describe in detail, but one of the most important seems to be modern life itself, particularly in big cities, and what it imposes on the relationship between child and parents, especially between child and father. Meetings between fathers and children are becoming less and less frequent. In addition, the increased number of working women weighs more and more heavily on the time which mother and child can spend together. The problem is also one of quality of relationship. Very often when the mother returns home, she has to fulfill all sorts of domestic duties which leave her little or no leisure time with her family. In a growing number of cases, the child is entrusted to a third party from the very first months of his life. This can have regrettable results if he feels himself abandoned. It is a common error to believe that the infant is not aware of his mother’s absence as soon as he has someone else to look after him.
To change one’s life is of prime importance, but it is the whole of society and its institutions, indeed civilization itself, which is being challenged. At the teacher and therapist level, where one often feels condemned to mending broken fences, the prevention of evils may seem just a wistful dream. But at least one may work at identifying difficulties at the earliest possible stage. This early screening would allow a vast program of action for teachers from nursery school onwards. A preschool dyslexic is easier to realign that a child who has already reached the secondary level. The younger the child, the more powerful the effect of our method of training.
Teachers could readily be shown how to carry out early screening. A few simple tests would enable them to verify and pinpoint what close observation already revealed. Children who do not speak, who express themselves with difficulty, who are inattentive and incapable of concentrating, who are poorly lateralized, and who are emotionally unstable or immature are likely candidates for dyslexia.
There is no reason why the remedy for such deficiencies could not be carried out within the school itself by qualified teachers. That would indeed by very desirable.
From ‘The Conscious Ear’, Alfred Tomatis, Station Hill Press, pp 166-169 (1991)
The family gains even more advantages from the child’s program when family members closely follow it and actively join in. of course, not every form of intervention is a good one. For the parents’ cooperation to be relevant, they must have clear and precise information. In particular, they must be warned that during the first several months of the child’s program, he is going to show unusual reactions which may perhaps be disagreeable to them. If we were to remain silent on this subject, the parents quickly would become distressed, and, once again, their own anxiety would be transmitted to the child. We encourage them to be patient, and, if possible, serene. We also urge them not to become disappointed by focusing on school results alone, as parents of dyslexics often do. The difficulties met at school are only symptoms, the exterior signs of a lack of balance (to be more precise, an absence of harmony) that lies much deeper. It is by working at this deeper level that one will gradually succeed in eliminating spelling faults, reading inadequacies, and obtuseness in grammar and mathematics.
Do parents all agree and cooperate? Unfortunately, no. At least not from the start. There again we have to struggle step by step. Of course, they do not deliberately refuse to understand our work and cooperate with it, but they do develop a number of unconscious resistances.
We become aware of these by analyzing the resistances of the children themselves, which were manifested among some of them by difficult behavior over food: either the client devoured everything put in front of him, or he violently refused to eat anything at all. At first, we thought the hostility behind these aggressive reactions came from the child himself. But by looking at it more closely, we quickly perceived that these reactions were merely a response to a much more secret and underhanded hostility coming from the parents. The whole family was resisting, not just the child.
Even the best-natured of mothers and fathers will find their situation difficult if either of them has an unsuitable attitude to the situation. In this perspective, it is essential to brief teachers as well as to brief families. Unfortunately, it is difficult for us to initiate meetings with teachers in order to explain to them what we are doing; the family has to invite us. When the family understands the necessity of such a meeting, we are very careful not to refuse the invitation for such contacts, besides the fact that they are always fruitful for us by allowing for greater insights into the child’s development. Once we have revealed to the teachers the changes in behavior they may expect, we usually must overcome numerous objections. This is particularly true when they understand that they will temporarily have to treat the child with a certain indulgence. In the case of a left-hander, in particular, the period of adaptation which corresponds to lateralization towards the right is sometimes difficult to live through for both pupil and teacher. In fact, before regaining his balance and making noticeable progress, the child may see his weakness increased and multiplied. For example, he will write more slowly than the others and will have more trouble in understanding how to form his letters correctly, which may hold back the rest of the class. However, this will only be a passing phase. Patience is all that is required.
The reception we get from teachers is nearly always an excellent one. Today, especially, it is very rare for teachers to be unaware of the problems of dyslexia. why the proliferation of dyslexics? The reasons are too numerous and complicated to describe in detail, but one of the most important seems to be modern life itself, particularly in big cities, and what it imposes on the relationship between child and parents, especially between child and father. Meetings between fathers and children are becoming less and less frequent. In addition, the increased number of working women weighs more and more heavily on the time which mother and child can spend together. The problem is also one of quality of relationship. Very often when the mother returns home, she has to fulfill all sorts of domestic duties which leave her little or no leisure time with her family. In a growing number of cases, the child is entrusted to a third party from the very first months of his life. This can have regrettable results if he feels himself abandoned. It is a common error to believe that the infant is not aware of his mother’s absence as soon as he has someone else to look after him.
To change one’s life is of prime importance, but it is the whole of society and its institutions, indeed civilization itself, which is being challenged. At the teacher and therapist level, where one often feels condemned to mending broken fences, the prevention of evils may seem just a wistful dream. But at least one may work at identifying difficulties at the earliest possible stage. This early screening would allow a vast program of action for teachers from nursery school onwards. A preschool dyslexic is easier to realign that a child who has already reached the secondary level. The younger the child, the more powerful the effect of our method of training.
Teachers could readily be shown how to carry out early screening. A few simple tests would enable them to verify and pinpoint what close observation already revealed. Children who do not speak, who express themselves with difficulty, who are inattentive and incapable of concentrating, who are poorly lateralized, and who are emotionally unstable or immature are likely candidates for dyslexia.
There is no reason why the remedy for such deficiencies could not be carried out within the school itself by qualified teachers. That would indeed by very desirable.
From ‘The Conscious Ear’, Alfred Tomatis, Station Hill Press, pp 166-169 (1991)